Speaking of Feelings
return repeatedly to our consciousness, exposing us to scenes and situations, people, words and physical actions which were hurtful for us. Each time we remember them we re-experience pain and suffering.
Rather than accepting them we have held onto them, attaching to them with energy of anger, resentment, hate. In forgiveness there is a paradox. When we choose to become more understanding, we make a choice as simple as any choice-----standing up, speaking, looking at the sky, Choosing to be more understanding of our pain means literally to BE, or to become, understanding that is more. It's not a mental exercise. It's not a thinking process. It's accepting that we can embody greater understanding. This 'greater' means letter go of the lesser. The lesser is our opinion, memory, attachment to thoughts we are currently holding. We may become greater understanding or hold our thoughts of limitation.
Forgiveness is much like the scarring of our physical body. If we have a cut for example, and take care of the hurt, bringing appropriate cleaning and protection, it will gradually heal and become part of our perfectly functioning body. The pain will subside and the skin will resume its function of protecting the rest of the body from harm and nurturing it to health. If on the other hand we fight the cut, scratching at it, picking at it, disliking it and trying to make it go away, we will surely prolong the healing process. If our anger and fear and resentment of the cut is persistent enough, we will keep the wound open and possibly even growing.
The opposite of forgiveness is resistance. When we resist occurrences from our past lives, repeatedly meeting them with anger and resentment, we deny their reality and indulge ourselves in the futile exercise of changing history. Each time we revisit a memory and struggle to eliminate it we prolong the inevitable failure of preventing what has already happened. We might as well be wishing the ground or the sky to disappear.The events and relationships we long to be rid of only expand with resistance. Acceptance is the first step in forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not mean that we forget about or approve of mistreatment by others. It is not a practice of being a victim or bullied. Rather it is using our minds to bring healing and love to experiences which feel a lack of love and care.
Forgiveness is recognition and acceptance of the unity of all life.When we accept that everyone and everything is part of the same loving, giving life source, we automatically release images of separation.
Forgiveness is available any time.This is because forgiveness is a reality of life. This statement may seem confusing if we consider forgiveness to be an act of will on our part. If we misunderstand forgiveness to be something we force to happen rather than accepting it, it will happen only partially.
We can no more make forgiveness happen than we can make daylight happen. Daylight is a reality of life. We either accept or we don't. Either way it continues to exist. Forgiveness is the reality of all life being part of the same infinite substance. When we understand all life to be connected and accept that reality, we automatically see and feel differently than we did when imagining that life is made up of separate parts.
Forgiveness is hungry and once it's started in us will seek out all our old resentments.
Acceptance is the first step in forgiveness
Feeling forgiveness requires a willingness to accept the past. Forgiveness means acceptance of things which have already happened which we haven't yet accepted. Typically those things we haven't forgiven